I begin with a photo. It's so rare to get a good one of Ian:
Ian on Friday, 11/16 in Yvette's room in her suitcase when Yvette returned from her trip
"Duchess," said the admiral this morning, "the neighbor's cat is pissing on our daffodils." Silence. Then "yuk. That's why we have to bury the bulbs deep down I guess."
Then Wednesday: 11/21/12:
A whole week has gone by since we last coped. I spent an arduous and somewhat embittering (though I don't know why) and sad too half hour ripping apart a doll house I built with Caroline and Yvette -- it came up to my waist, Edwardian, painted blue on the outer walls with white window trim. We spent a full week on it. I remember those days well. The hot-melt glue gun. Once upon a time it was filled with small dolls and doll house furniture bought on successive Christmases. Now it was torn in many places, hideous with dust. What I recalled most was each time a woman my age would see it, she'd say, "oh you have to paint it inside and wallpaper it." Right. I never had the time nor do I have an ability or patience to do my own house, and this would be the same. Or I'd be asked why I spent such money on a child. "Most people really didn't." So it's gone -- as is a huge bright green-and-blue dragon which also took up a good deal of room in the can. One plastic doll house -- much smaller too.
Upstairs the admiral fixed the left-over financial papers he says he must go through, put them neatly in one box and stacked against the box two paintings to hang on a wall we are keeping. The basket I used to put Yvette in when she was so tiny and on an apnea monitor is put near, the two saved American Girl dolls, with two outfits, one elephant (purple) I'm sure was sewn by someone but cannot remember I'm saving. The toy horse Yvette would ride about on and one board of round balls for counting. All by the crib.
Gentle reader, I have made my house a much pleasanter place to live in: ordered, tidy, air-ier and if we don't clean every 6 weeks as the Admiral's arthritis and bad knee can't do it, we use that robot vaccuum cleaner and I manage to do a little her and there each day.
Next week I'll tackle more that is to be thrown out.
Thurs, 11/22/12 P.S. I did suffer again from insomnia last night. This is the first time in my life I've had this. I just can't sleep; it's scary almost. Dead tired but you just don't fall asleep. I am taking Melantonin when this happens. I then had a dream, another of these realistic one. I dreamt that Caroline was in the front room and had three beautiful large dollhouses, all yellow. They were so bright and pretty, and on the walls of the front were beautiful paintings too, bright, spring. I woke and felt so happy from this and for a bit thought I'd go into the front and see. Then I realized it had been a dream.