wordpress.com/2015/06/08/ ladieswholunchmenwhofillinills eeyouinmydreamslintrepido/
It made me think what I need is peace of mind. I asked myself what this is and I can think only contentment with what is, and not wanting anything outside what is. Maybe this is better than the wish I could sit alone and not go out. I don't know how to achieve this peace of mind is my thought.