I knew Bob from the C-18 list. Thanks so much for posting this.

Jim

Very sad news about Bob Lapides, Ellen.
Thank you for sharing the news and for including the link to your lovely remembrance of him.
May he rest in peace,
Sam"

This is sad news. When I was moderating this list on a daily basis some years ago, Bob was a great contributor, super-smart, feisty, always ready to cross swords with other members when he deemed it necessary. But he was a passionate and knowledgeable lover of Dickens and literature in general. He was the kind of member who made the list always interesting and worthwhile. It is too bad that these kinds of groups seem to be fading away, they provided a valuable online community for likeminded people with an interest in literature as well as other subjects. Bob was a great part of this, and he will be missed.

Gene

Edited at 2021-03-25 07:08 pm (UTC)

Dear Ellen,

I saw your post on Bob Lapides on the Victoria list and have just finished reading your obit. I’m quite shaken. I had no idea. I used to meet with Bob whenever we came to NYC, which was not often. The last time was in February of last year, just before the Covid shutdowns. I gave a presentation at YIVO and he came with his wife. We had originally met through the Victoria list, but then discovered that we knew quite a few people in common. Also, my mother was a Yiddish writer, who survived the Lodz ghetto and wrote a three-part novel about it, so that connected us too. So, although we seldom met, I considered him a friend.

I am so sorry he is gone. I had no idea. Bob was a terrible correspondent, so I didn’t think anything of it when I didn’t hear from him for a long time. He always answered my emails several weeks after I’d written them. But I did know that he was very sick. I’m glad that we had one last brunch together last year. Thank you so much for posting his obituary to the list.

Goldie

I thought I'd remark 438 people have clicked at least once on this blog-obituary -- that's more than click on this book sometimes in a couple of months.

Ellen

Diane Dowling, Bob's (now) widow has written me and I wrote back. I was relieved she liked the blog-obituary. I include some of one of my letters in order to tell a bit more about Bob and why I wrote this blog-obituary:

... I am relieved you liked what I wrote. Maybe many people stick to such formulae lest they offend. I meant it as a tribute and to bring out personal details that I could remember -- and where Bob had counted on these two listservs he'd been on for a long time. I added people comments from these listservs. There were others. Inimitable-Boz and Trollope&Peers are not primarily or even at all academic lists, though both have a number of academics on them. Reading people, teachers, librarians. Bob was on a enormous list of Victorian (mostly) scholars called Victoria (heavily moderated) and one called C18-l, mostly scholars of the 18th century -- both anyone can get on these. He would get into arguments with people -- or strong debates let's say; most of the time it did not issue in acrimony. He ran three I knew little or nothing of: one of people of Jewish origin, and two more but I don't know what was the topic or subject or who they were at all. Of late years since listservs have been more obsolete and people calmed down (got used ot the medium) there have been less and less of these, and then less interest too. The tone on these places is highly varied, in the last years friendly. Real exchanges of information, names of books, what movies to watch -- and also during the early stages of the pandemic people encouraging one another.

When Bob said to me you should not meet people if your aim is to make an impression I thought he meant that people imagined me as a formidable scholarly type, respected that, and I am ever so plain, with a strong NYC accent. I was never a professor, only was a lecturer and for many years. I've had a Ph.D in literature since 1980, been teaching since 1972 on and off in senior colleges (now retired people), a couple of published books and articles and reviews -- and my website! http://www.jimandellen.org/ellen/ I don't think I was hurt, it seemed to me the kind of remark he might make -- we parted in real friendship.

I know a very little about Bob's marriage and children. That Bob married in later life (right) and you somewhat younger than him. Thus his children were teens when he was older and he once either wrote (probably wrote) or said that he regretted he would not live to see them reach a height of profession. So they are Rachel (21, at Swarthmore) and Isaac (27, now graduating college, with a degree in computer science and psychology). This worrying was quite a while back -- so maybe he was worrying he would not see them out of high school (I mean to make a light joke, I do not mean to say anything jarring). Well he clearly has -- I knew he had two children, a boy
and a girl and the name of the college and he showed your apartment house on your block. He said it was two apartments put together. Then it was time for me to get to the subway and be on my way. I didn't know you were in theater though.

I sort of remember remarks about theater now by Bob about the college. He was very interested in Dickens's play. Theater is a wonderful occupation. (Diane is a theater profession for many years at BMCC.) My older daughter studied theater and was originally going to be an actress - she was talented; but it was a hard world and life and she fell back into tech crews, then sewing costumes and then she tried to direct but finally she went into an office.Now she is a paid online entertainment journalist. She writes reviews, does podcasts; apparently she doesn't do too badly, but it is all gig work. She is trying to form a union of people like herself with others --- Bob would like to hear that. These online journalists certainly need it ....

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of Bob. I’ve been really behind on my emails. My condolences to you all along with Bob’s family and friends. 🙏💔🙏💔🙏💔

Susan Dennison