Here is a brief publication that may indeed be overlooked -- and I hope now will not at least by those who read anything I write in several places.
Kenneth Reeves, group moderator of the Inimitable-Boz [Dickens] group (now at groups.io) contacted me to tell me that Bob died. I had noticed -- as had some people on had also on Inimitable-Boz and perhaps Trollope&Peers (at groups.io) that Bob had not emailed for some time and about a month and a half ago I emailed him, and he never replied. Now he had periods where he didn't contribute for all sorts of reasons. But I knew he had been very ill, had had a rough operation of some sort and a hard road to recovery.
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The good most recent news is his family, friends, associates will be publishing (posthumously) the work he had been writing for some years on Dickens's creativity. His book of many documents retelling what happened at Lodz during WW2 will remain an important book as long as there are books: Lodz Ghetto: Inside a Community Under Seige, compiled and edited by Alan Adelson and Robert Lapides.Penguin 1989. The second half of this blog is on Lodz Ghetto.

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Bob was among the ten people who first came onto Trollope-l when Mike Powe opened it in October of 1997, a break away from a Trollope list run on majordomo by Elizabeth Thompson. Two other people of that original ten have died too. I remember when Jim died, Bob sent me a beautiful poem -- by a famous poet. So after the obituary sent me by Kenneth (from Bob's college's Human Resources webpage), I reprint Catullus to his brother.
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Robert Lapides, professor emeritus in the English Department, husband of Professor Diane Dowling, died on January 1, 2021. At BMCC for over 40 years, Professor Lapides will be remembered for his passion, his life-long fight for social, economic, and racial justice, and his commitment to building communities where differences can be expressed. Never afraid to speak up or ask questions, he was genuinely interested in his students and colleagues. His intense curiosity about people, places, politics, history, literature, psychology, religion--about what it means to be human--informed all his efforts. He encouraged his students to embrace their humanity, including the parts of themselves they felt they needed to hide, building their courage to write honestly. His legacy can be found in his influence on the many students and colleagues he worked with, the online communities he created, in his faculty magazine Hudson River, and for editing Lodz Ghetto, collected writings left behind by Jews confined to the Lodz Ghetto in WWII. Until the end, he was working on his book about the creative development of Charles Dickens, which will be published posthumously. Condolences to Diane and their children Isaac and Rachel may be sent to ddowling@bmcc.cuny.edu or to 137 W 12th St. New York, NY 10011. Donations may be made to the charity of your choice
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Hail and Farewell
By ways remote and distant waters sped,
Brother, to thy sad grave-side am I come,
That I may give the last gifts to the dead,
And vainly parley with thine ashes dumb:
Since she who now bestows and now denies
Hath taken thee, hapless brother, from mine eyes.
But lo! these gifts, the heirlooms of past years,
Are made sad things to grace thy coffin shell,
Take them, all drenchèd with a brother’s tears,
And, brother, for all time, hail and farewell!
--Gaius Valerius Catullus (ca 85-ca 54 B.C.), translated by Aubrey Beardsley (1872-1898)
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Hail and Farewell
By ways remote and distant waters sped,
Brother, to thy sad grave-side am I come,
That I may give the last gifts to the dead,
And vainly parley with thine ashes dumb:
Since she who now bestows and now denies
Hath taken thee, hapless brother, from mine eyes.
But lo! these gifts, the heirlooms of past years,
Are made sad things to grace thy coffin shell,
Take them, all drenchèd with a brother’s tears,
And, brother, for all time, hail and farewell!
--Gaius Valerius Catullus (ca 85-ca 54 B.C.), translated by Aubrey Beardsley (1872-1898)
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I will miss him. We exchanged countless emails over the years . In the email Kenneth sent me, there is line by Bob noting that he once asked me if it was okay that he had plagiarized a line of mine in one of my blog-reviews, this one on Lillian Nayder, The Other Dickens: A Life of Catherine Hogarth (Cornell University Press: Ithaca, 2011). He knew I wouldn't mind. I don't have a picture of him; I met him once in New York City, not far from where he lived and we had a huge lovely breakfast together. He was a genial older man in looks. We talked for a couple of hours. I recall that he told me I should not meet people face-to-face if I wanted to "make some sort of impression" -- I took that to mean I was very different in person for all that people thought I gave myself away (or seemed formidable) in my writing. I am working class in origins, with a New York City accent. Someone else told me "he should not have said that to you." I don't know. He was telling what he thought was the truth. Bob was a compassionate, intelligent, moral and good man. He so admired, nay loved Dickens; his way was to analyse Dickens's writing psychoanalytically.
Ellen
Comments
Jim
Thank you for sharing the news and for including the link to your lovely remembrance of him.
May he rest in peace,
Sam"
Gene
Edited at 2021-03-25 07:08 pm (UTC)
GeneSchmidt
I saw your post on Bob Lapides on the Victoria list and have just finished reading your obit. I’m quite shaken. I had no idea. I used to meet with Bob whenever we came to NYC, which was not often. The last time was in February of last year, just before the Covid shutdowns. I gave a presentation at YIVO and he came with his wife. We had originally met through the Victoria list, but then discovered that we knew quite a few people in common. Also, my mother was a Yiddish writer, who survived the Lodz ghetto and wrote a three-part novel about it, so that connected us too. So, although we seldom met, I considered him a friend.
I am so sorry he is gone. I had no idea. Bob was a terrible correspondent, so I didn’t think anything of it when I didn’t hear from him for a long time. He always answered my emails several weeks after I’d written them. But I did know that he was very sick. I’m glad that we had one last brunch together last year. Thank you so much for posting his obituary to the list.
Goldie
Ellen
... I am relieved you liked what I wrote. Maybe many people stick to such formulae lest they offend. I meant it as a tribute and to bring out personal details that I could remember -- and where Bob had counted on these two listservs he'd been on for a long time. I added people comments from these listservs. There were others. Inimitable-Boz and Trollope&Peers are not primarily or even at all academic lists, though both have a number of academics on them. Reading people, teachers, librarians. Bob was on a enormous list of Victorian (mostly) scholars called Victoria (heavily moderated) and one called C18-l, mostly scholars of the 18th century -- both anyone can get on these. He would get into arguments with people -- or strong debates let's say; most of the time it did not issue in acrimony. He ran three I knew little or nothing of: one of people of Jewish origin, and two more but I don't know what was the topic or subject or who they were at all. Of late years since listservs have been more obsolete and people calmed down (got used ot the medium) there have been less and less of these, and then less interest too. The tone on these places is highly varied, in the last years friendly. Real exchanges of information, names of books, what movies to watch -- and also during the early stages of the pandemic people encouraging one another.
When Bob said to me you should not meet people if your aim is to make an impression I thought he meant that people imagined me as a formidable scholarly type, respected that, and I am ever so plain, with a strong NYC accent. I was never a professor, only was a lecturer and for many years. I've had a Ph.D in literature since 1980, been teaching since 1972 on and off in senior colleges (now retired people), a couple of published books and articles and reviews -- and my website! http://www.jimandellen.org/ellen/ I don't think I was hurt, it seemed to me the kind of remark he might make -- we parted in real friendship.
I know a very little about Bob's marriage and children. That Bob married in later life (right) and you somewhat younger than him. Thus his children were teens when he was older and he once either wrote (probably wrote) or said that he regretted he would not live to see them reach a height of profession. So they are Rachel (21, at Swarthmore) and Isaac (27, now graduating college, with a degree in computer science and psychology). This worrying was quite a while back -- so maybe he was worrying he would not see them out of high school (I mean to make a light joke, I do not mean to say anything jarring). Well he clearly has -- I knew he had two children, a boy
and a girl and the name of the college and he showed your apartment house on your block. He said it was two apartments put together. Then it was time for me to get to the subway and be on my way. I didn't know you were in theater though.
I sort of remember remarks about theater now by Bob about the college. He was very interested in Dickens's play. Theater is a wonderful occupation. (Diane is a theater profession for many years at BMCC.) My older daughter studied theater and was originally going to be an actress - she was talented; but it was a hard world and life and she fell back into tech crews, then sewing costumes and then she tried to direct but finally she went into an office.Now she is a paid online entertainment journalist. She writes reviews, does podcasts; apparently she doesn't do too badly, but it is all gig work. She is trying to form a union of people like herself with others --- Bob would like to hear that. These online journalists certainly need it ....
It is a great shock at first even if you were expecting it. You are probably still in this shock. I was only a tiny while ago you lost him. It takes a long time even to get used to being alone -- and there is so much to do. I'd say take it easy, try not to be hard on yourself, don't take on too much at a time. I'm a reader and so found reading books of like minded people (not easy to find) who had been widowed a help. One Julian Barnes, Levels of Life, the third part is about how he feels after his wife dies. I found that one comforting.
Thank you for writing me, I wish you very well,
Ellen Moody
Susan Dennison
Malvina York