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43

Dear friends,

The admiral and I went out this evening for our 42nd anniversary.  We were married Oct 6, 1969. We decided we couldn't go out this Oct 6 because it's a Thursday and I teach that day from 9:30 to 1:15 and have to pick Yvette up from GMU at 10 pm and the Admiral saw half-price tickets for a new Alan Bennet play at the Studio theater (14th Street), a Habit of Art. It's really 43 as we married a year to the night we met and began.  The restaurant was lovely and food good; DC is turning into a city of many good cultural spots nowadays and studio theater meant well. But the play was so dull -- it had no purpose, just meandered and I fell asleep.

We have been a long time together and did have a pleasant meal together and some good talk.  Forty three includes many phases of existence and we did try to remember a few together.  We agreed that we were especially happy in the first couple of years, and that first few months were euphoric. Odd some would say: we were broke. The day we married we had some tenpence between us. I began work as a secretary and he a clerk in a stockmarket firm (in those days there were jobs about as an expected thing) and we spent our evenings at pubs drinking, often dancing. Our song still is in my heart: especially Mary Hopkins singing the first four lines of the refrain: Those were the days my friend/We thought they'd never end/We'd sing and dance forever and a day ...

Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we laughed away the hours
And dreamed of all the great things we would do

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Then the busy years went rushing by us
We lost our starry notions on the way
If by chance I'd see you in the tavern
We'd smile at one another and we'd say

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Just tonight I stood before the tavern
Nothing seemed the way it used to be
In the glass I saw a strange reflection
Was that lonely woman really me

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes those were the days

Through the door there came familiar laughter
I saw your face and heard you call my name
Oh my friend we're older but no wiser
For in our hearts the dreams are still the same

Those were the days my friend
We thought they'd never end
We'd sing and dance forever and a day
We'd live the life we choose
We'd fight and never lose
For we were young and sure to have our way.
La la la la...
Those were the days, oh yes, those were the days

And that we have some causes for contentment today -- we do live in a lovely house on a quiet pretty block with lots of sky and trees. We have enough to live on comfortably. i do spend many hours in my life just the way I like to do and so does he.

I've put up a few photos on my website of us and family over the years.

Sylvia

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
misssylviadrake
Oct. 13th, 2011 10:33 pm (UTC)
How does it feel to be married 43 years
A number of people asked:

"It's a pleasure to get your letters and answer them. How does it feel to be married 43 years? When we went out that night I was aware that we had had a number of phases in our married life where we lived differently -- our patterns of life were different, we were doing different things, lived in another place. Or something significant happens (or does not happen) and that makes a change in the whole feel of life. All this has happened to us as a pair of people. It's hard to remember back and say what was the best period. We seem agreed these past 4 years have not been: for me it's been a hard burden to watch Isobel not get a job, not have friends, not manage a boyfriend &c as well as the estrangement from my older daughter. I didn't realize how much being mother to these two people and their fates influenced my feeling about my life. So I had a new lesson. These things have not touched Jim as much -- or so he says. As I said in the blog we agreed our first few months of married life were maybe the happiest time we have known. I also think the time just after he quit his full time job to become a full-time student, this was before we had any children, and we were graduate students together in NYC was a very happy time. I remember how we loved to walk our dog in the park together. If we don't seem to necessarily enjoy being together in an alert way as if it's a precious thing, mostly because it's gone on so long and since he's retired is more than 7 years now, we do like one another's company basically so that time seems glowing in my mind with real pleasure.

We went to Chicago for an anniversary -- I think it was 5 years ago, a year before Izzy graduated Buffalo. We had never been there and we explored the place by walking a lot, and trying things in different neighborhoods. Alas, the hotel we stayed in seemed to be soulless, a great anonymous kind of black glass building and the people serving us seemed so abject, fearful we would not be pleased, I was uncomfortable. But otherwise it was fun. A mid-west city, different in feel and culture from the east coast. I noticed that the black population was very large and had its strong culture. We visited a Frank Lloyd Wright house I recall, saw the university and of course went to plays, an opera (Jim loves these) a large amusement area along a boardwalk. We did eat out of course, some Chicago style food as I recall. We are not much for sports ...

Sylvia
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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